The Gift of Laughter in Grief

If you are staid, formal, and have rigid ideas about what is acceptable behavior for the grieving, you should stop reading now, because this post is about the blessing, value, and power of humor in grief. Since Jim’s death, our family has shed tears, but we have also laughed—a lot. Jim’s celebration of life included […]

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The Heavy Lifting of Grief

It’s been a while since I lifted weights at the gym, but I know I need to get back to it. I much prefer cardio, because I can zone out, to some extent, once I get my heartrate where it needs to be. In many ways, grief is like weightlifting. We don’t want to experience […]

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Words Left Unsaid

Sudden death is, by its very nature, unexpected. We all think we’ll have the next moment, hour, day, month, year to express feelings and speak the love we hold for those dear to us. January 3, 2024, ended my chance to say, to my husband, words left unsaid. I was rushing that day, in a […]

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All the Little Hard Things

Several weeks ago, I opened the app for our local hospital system to check information about an upcoming appointment. I was surprised to see the “Widowed” box checked on my profile. Although I hadn’t changed my marital status, apparently the system defaulted to it after I canceled all Jim’s appointments and various offices marked him […]

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Enduring Love

Valentine’s Day 2024 is my first Valentine’s Day in 44 years without my husband. Please do not feel sorry for me. I’ve received unexpected cards, chocolates, and other expressions of love. And I have a dinner date with the cutest, sweetest 6-year-old little man, who looks a lot like his Bop. Jim and I had […]

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Springs in the Desert

Years ago, I traveled to New Mexico each year to teach at a writing conference. One year, as the plane banked for landing, the woman next to me sighed and said, “Isn’t it beautiful!” I managed a nod, but what I saw was bleak, barren, dusty, reddish-brown desert. Conversely, she saw the beauty of a […]

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Listening in the Too-Quiet House

Often, life bombards us with sounds—loud talkers on cell phones in public places, raised voices in debate over inconsequential nonsense, too-loud music in restaurants, construction noise, car horns. A cacophony of sounds assault us on a regular basis. How many times have you longed for a little peace and quiet? As an only child, I […]

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Comfort and Joy

“Comfort” and “Joy,” words we often associate with Christmas. But can comfort and joy coexist with loss and grief? Yes, both comfort and joy are sustaining me in this season of my life. Following are among my sources of comfort and joy: Grandchildren My precious grandchildren provide so much comfort and joy during these days […]

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Beyond the Pall

Pall—a casket covering used during the funeral, from the Latin pallium, or cloak. The days following Jim’s death were a flurry of activity—trips to the mortuary and cemetery, planning his celebration of life service, numerous necessary phone calls and texts, and people constantly in and out of the house. I was focused on doing the next […]

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When Forward Motion is Hard

What has 2024 been like for you thus far? Are you energized, determined, and happy, or has the first week of the year brought medical issues, sudden loss, and grief? My reality is the second part of the list. On January 3, 2024, I came home from a short errand to find my husband dead […]

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