Avoiding Unnecessary Squabbles

Several weeks ago, I heard a loud commotion in our side yard. I followed the sound and discovered two arched-backed, neighborhood cats facing each other. With intermittent yowls, and an occasional swat, they challenged each other over a patch of real estate that didn’t belong to either of them. Eventually, they gave up the fight and ambled off in opposite directions.

Do you know people who love to pick a fight?

Following are a few thoughts on unnecessary squabbles:

Defending What Isn’t Yours to Defend

Some people love to jump into a fray, even if they have no dog in the fight, so to speak. They adamantly take up a cause and defend it, although it has nothing to do with them.

Life is challenging enough without looking for additional fights in which to involve yourself. Save your zeal for issues that are yours.

Those Who Enjoy Confrontation

I’ve met several people who seem to enjoy confrontation. No matter what the topic, they play devil’s advocate, taking the opposite viewpoint and “worrying” it like a dog with a bone. They gnaw the topic endlessly, jumping on everything their “opponent” says. Volume increases as they set forth their assertions and vigorously defend them.

Every conversation doesn’t have to result in an argument. Simply say, “Thank you for expressing your point of view,” and then walk away. Those who enjoy confrontation will fight until they feel they’ve beaten you.

Nothing Accomplished

In most cases, squabbles accomplish nothing, especially when the topic has been hashed and rehashed multiple times. There are those who are incapable of seeing beyond their stance because they aren’t willing to attempt a different perspective. Knowing this, you can step away from continued debate, realizing nothing is gaining by dragging it out.

Like the cats in our yard, give up the fight. Turn and walk away.

Focus on the Important

Enough conflict exists in the world without adding to it in your personal life. Focus on what is of greater importance. Ignore social media tyrants and steer clear of those with an ongoing negative, critical mindset. Strive for, and promote, peace on the patch of ground that is yours. Let your life be different as you work toward patience, kindness, wisdom, godliness, and forward motion.

“Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people” (2 Timothy 2:23-24 NLT).


Candy Arrington is a writer, blogger, speaker, and freelance editor. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotionals published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).

To receive Candy’s blog, Forward Motion, via email, go to https://candyarrington.com/blog/ and scroll to the bottom of the page to sign up.




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