Writer, Speaker, Editor, Blogger
Here we are, two weeks before Christmas, and life’s hardships haven’t slowed down for many. In the past week, these are situations of which I’m aware, two unexpected deaths, a death after a years-long decline, hospitalizations, those who’ve had surgery, those caring for loved ones with cancer, and several people near death. Life marches on, […]
This year, I don’t have much Christmas “spirit.” When you are missing a loved one, all the festivities feel a little flat, as if I am a spectator rather than a participant. Although I expected this to be the case this year, it’s harder than I thought it would be. Following are thoughts on keeping […]
This week, I had the joy of hosting my church life group in my home. As we filled plates, and found seats at the table, I realized we were a few chairs short. One of the men volunteered to bring chairs in from another room. Everyone shifted as we squeezed in the additional chairs. As […]
Maintaining a positive perspective in hard life seasons is challenging. It’s easy to drift into a woe-is-me mindset and forget the way you feel now won’t last forever. One of my most difficult challenges in this season of grief is dreaming about Jim and then waking to find him not here. Sometimes, I don’t even […]
In these months since Jim’s death, I’ve come to view grief as a thief. I know grief is a necessary part of moving beyond loss, but without placing boundaries on grief, it runs rampant, unbridled and all-consuming. Following are reflections on the thievery of grief: Regret Everyone has regrets in grief. Less than an hour […]
Fillers. All of us use them when speaking. Yours might be “um,” “you know,” or “right.” My four-year-old grandson’s conversation filler is “And guess what.” Although he invites you to guess, he leaves no room for you to speak, plowing forward with his next thought— “And guess what, I have a loose tooth. And guess […]
If you are staid, formal, and have rigid ideas about what is acceptable behavior for the grieving, you should stop reading now, because this post is about the blessing, value, and power of humor in grief. Since Jim’s death, our family has shed tears, but we have also laughed—a lot. Jim’s celebration of life included […]
“Comfort” and “Joy,” words we often associate with Christmas. But can comfort and joy coexist with loss and grief? Yes, both comfort and joy are sustaining me in this season of my life. Following are among my sources of comfort and joy: Grandchildren My precious grandchildren provide so much comfort and joy during these days […]
My father was a builder, so I grew up around construction sites, tools, and lumber. I learned a lot from my father, not only about building, but also about life. My father’s life mirrored his values and his actions modeled his beliefs. Key elements for constructing a sound structure are a sturdy, level, and plumb […]
Last weekend, I sang in our choir Christmas presentation. Unless you are a singer, I’m not sure you can fully understand the joy it brings to stand side-by-side with others who are singing. A camaraderie exists in blending voices and finally “getting” difficult passages. While the audience hears seemingly effortless, beautiful music, only vocalists know […]