Many years ago, our church choir was invited to sing at the county fair. Most people go to the fair to ride rides, take a chance on winning a cheap prize, and eat food that’s bad for them, so as expected, when our time to shine arrived, our audience was sparse.
Back then, we were simply called the “sanctuary” choir, because we sang in the sanctuary. Not a very imaginative name, but it was an accurate descriptor.
As we loaded the rickety risers of the even more rickety stage, the fair “barker” came forward to introduce us. “Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome to the Interstate Fair stage, The First Baptist Church Sanctimonious Choir!”
Embarrassed mutters rippled through the choir as the crowd favored us with a smattering of applause. Who could sing after being introduced as a morally superior, smug, hypocritically pious, self-righteous choir? Somehow, we managed to pull ourselves together and make it through the presentation. However, the label didn’t endear us to the audience, and was cause for pause (and self-evaluation) for all of us.
Have you ever been given a label that was inaccurate or hurtful? Or have you labeled yourself something that isn’t true?
Following are thoughts on names and labels:
The Labels Others Place on Us
In fairness, I think the announcer at the fair hadn’t looked at his notes until he got on stage, saw a long word that started with an “s,” and made a stab at it. Unfortunately, “sanctimonious” was the long “s” word that floated through his brain and out his mouth.
Sometimes people label us without intending harm. Other times, we are labeled or called names that are intentionally designed to wound.
I remember riding to a conference with a group of women. I wasn’t really paying attention to the signage that flew by, but I knew the conversation revolved around stopping for a lunch break. I glanced up, misread a sign, and said something one of the passengers immediately jumped on. “You’re not very smart, are you?” I didn’t say anything for the rest of the trip. The woman may have spoken facetiously, but it felt like an attack, and an unfair label.
As a teen, I stepped aside in a small bathroom at church as someone forcefully pushed open the door from the hall. I was trapped between the door and the wall with nowhere to move. The person coming in, looked around the door, and said, “No wonder I couldn’t get the door open with someone as fat as you behind it!” Wow. Great way to stomp the self-esteem of a teen! The label “fat” was spoken to me over fifty years ago, and to this day, I still struggle not to view myself in light of that label.
Often, we put our mouths in gear before our brains have time to process the consequences of our words. The labeling words we speak to others stick with them and do more damage than we imagine.
Perhaps you grew up with words like “you’ll never amount to anything,” or “why can’t you be more like…”.
You don’t have to identify with, or own, hurtful labels others place on you.
Beware Negative Self-Labeling
Have you noticed people making negative preemptive statements about themselves, perhaps to thwart what they expect to hear from others? Or maybe it’s to garner a compliment or rebuttal to their self-negativism.
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy, falling into the trap of placing negative labels on ourselves. If you’re in this category, it’s time to stop.
Replace self-criticism (and that’s what negative labeling is) with positive self-talk. Notice your areas of giftedness and thank God for them. Realize your gifts are unique to you—your personality and your strengths. Talking kindly to yourself can be done privately, but allow positivity to spill over into how you view yourself when with others.
And parents and grandparents, take every opportunity to speak affirmation into the lives of your children and grandchildren. Even your grown children need encouragement and support.
What’s in a Name?
My grandfather Neely was a wise man. When his prosperity evaporated during The Great Depression, he made the statement, “Your name is all you’ve got, so don’t do anything to tarnish your name.”
No matter what labels people have forced on you over the years, reject those that are negative, and regain forward motion. Let your name reflect good character, honesty, and integrity. And if you are a Believer, let your foremost identifier be that of Christian.
Remember, others are watching to see if your words and actions are an accurate representation of the names by which you are identified. Ask God to help you be worthy of your name.
“A good name is more desirable than great wealth. Respect is better than silver or gold” (Proverbs 22:1 GW).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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2 Comments
A great post! I, too, remember negative words from my childhood! It’s amazing how detrimental they can be so many years later! Thank goodness we have God’s word as truth!!
Amen, Penny!