Last week, November 8, our anniversary, was a happy day for me. I played mental reruns of the joy of our wedding day and laughed as I remembered some of the funny parts of that day 44 years ago. I was proud of myself for not allowing it to be a day of sadness and […]
Blindsided by Emotion
Earlier this week, I had an emotional meltdown triggered by a three-word sentence I overheard. My response felt too intense, until I realized grief had been building for weeks with no outlet. It wasn’t that I avoided an expression of emotion, or was it? How often do we tamp down emotion so we can wait […]
A Positive Perspective in Hard Life Seasons
Maintaining a positive perspective in hard life seasons is challenging. It’s easy to drift into a woe-is-me mindset and forget the way you feel now won’t last forever. One of my most difficult challenges in this season of grief is dreaming about Jim and then waking to find him not here. Sometimes, I don’t even […]
Grief, the Thief
In these months since Jim’s death, I’ve come to view grief as a thief. I know grief is a necessary part of moving beyond loss, but without placing boundaries on grief, it runs rampant, unbridled and all-consuming. Following are reflections on the thievery of grief: Regret Everyone has regrets in grief. Less than an hour […]
Run, Run, Run, as Fast as You Can!
When I was a child, a favorite book was “The Gingerbread Man.” For some reason, this week I thought of the ongoing refrain, “Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me. I’m the Gingerbread Man!” While the Gingerbread Man might be uncatchable, I’ve learned, no matter how hard you try, you […]
Center of Gravity
Many years ago, when I was young and unencumbered by aging knees, I climbed out our bathroom window and stood on the sunroom roof. My intention was to wash the windows; however, I quickly realized the power of gravity. I was unprepared for the significant downward pull, prompting a rapid return to the safety of […]
Walking Through the Valley
This week marks five months since Jim’s death. It feels like five minutes and five years at the same time. Five months of missing. Five months of tears. Five months of God’s faithfulness. Grief is an unwanted companion, but one we can’t ignore. Running from grief only prolongs the process. Even when you think you’re […]
Life on the Other Side
When thrust into unexpected change, you take slow steps, halting forward motion, as you experience life on the other side. Life changes on the other side of a loved one’s death, presenting you with challenges and lots of firsts as you navigate uncharted waters. First holidays, first solo events, and first experiences, are all tinged […]
Grief—The Unwanted Companion
Since last week, a deeper level of grief has been my unwanted companion. Learning of the death of a childhood friend, who battled relentless cancer for many years, sparked deeper grief that seemed to multiply and grow. Like an invading vine that creeps unhindered, grief covered me with its unwanted presence, sending my mind spiraling […]
Remembering the Good
For the last several weeks, I’ve been going through boxes long buried in our garage and Jim’s home office. Sifting through the detritus of the life of a loved one, and the places that life intersects with yours, is a bittersweet experience. Scenes appear. Conversations float. Memories take on a life of their own. Some […]