Writer, Speaker, Editor, Blogger
Years ago, when my mother was alive and still living in my childhood home, the swimming pool stayed covered one summer while she was in and out of the hospital. The next year, I knew it needed to be uncovered. I expected it to be a mess, and it was. As I struggled to remove […]
Any time you have a dramatic life change, if you are willing, you learn from the experience. The death of a loved one presents that opportunity. Following are reflections on what I’ve learned in the last year and two months: Expect Times of Loneliness Recently, I woke up and smelled coffee brewing. Then, I realized […]
Having completed the first year of widowhood, it seems like I should feel lighter and eager for the next step in my journey. Instead, I think I turned a corner and hit a brick wall. The remaining tasks on my to-do list loom, large and insurmountable. I should be brimming with thoughts and plans that […]
Last week, November 8, our anniversary, was a happy day for me. I played mental reruns of the joy of our wedding day and laughed as I remembered some of the funny parts of that day 44 years ago. I was proud of myself for not allowing it to be a day of sadness and […]
Earlier this week, I had an emotional meltdown triggered by a three-word sentence I overheard. My response felt too intense, until I realized grief had been building for weeks with no outlet. It wasn’t that I avoided an expression of emotion, or was it? How often do we tamp down emotion so we can wait […]
Maintaining a positive perspective in hard life seasons is challenging. It’s easy to drift into a woe-is-me mindset and forget the way you feel now won’t last forever. One of my most difficult challenges in this season of grief is dreaming about Jim and then waking to find him not here. Sometimes, I don’t even […]
In these months since Jim’s death, I’ve come to view grief as a thief. I know grief is a necessary part of moving beyond loss, but without placing boundaries on grief, it runs rampant, unbridled and all-consuming. Following are reflections on the thievery of grief: Regret Everyone has regrets in grief. Less than an hour […]
When I was a child, a favorite book was “The Gingerbread Man.” For some reason, this week I thought of the ongoing refrain, “Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me. I’m the Gingerbread Man!” While the Gingerbread Man might be uncatchable, I’ve learned, no matter how hard you try, you […]
Many years ago, when I was young and unencumbered by aging knees, I climbed out our bathroom window and stood on the sunroom roof. My intention was to wash the windows; however, I quickly realized the power of gravity. I was unprepared for the significant downward pull, prompting a rapid return to the safety of […]
This week marks five months since Jim’s death. It feels like five minutes and five years at the same time. Five months of missing. Five months of tears. Five months of God’s faithfulness. Grief is an unwanted companion, but one we can’t ignore. Running from grief only prolongs the process. Even when you think you’re […]