Earlier this week, I had an emotional meltdown triggered by a three-word sentence I overheard. My response felt too intense, until I realized grief had been building for weeks with no outlet. It wasn’t that I avoided an expression of emotion, or was it?
How often do we tamp down emotion so we can wait for a more convenient time to deal with it?
Following are reflections on the emotions and grief:
Unexpected Emotional Triggers
Often, emotion is triggered by something unexpected. You feel as if you’re coping. Then, suddenly, something small—a remembered event, a phrase, a smell, a song, a picture, seeing a couple holding hands—sends you spiraling, upended by a wave of sadness and the undertow of grief.
Emotional triggers don’t make sense to us, but they are very real. Possibly, emotional triggers force us to deal with what we try to bury. Some of my emotion involves missing my parents, who died many years ago.
Like me, you may experience sadness and grief for long-ago hurts and losses. Letting emotion have its way with you now, for what happened in the past, or some ongoing current thorn in the flesh, provides cleansing and healing.
Handling Emotion
When you experience unexpected triggers, how do you handle the emotion that is a byproduct? Go with the flow, even if it means “losing it” in front of others.
My little meltdown this week happened at home, so I gave in to a good, blubbery, nose-stop-upping cry. But often, overwhelming emotion shows up at church, or some other location with lots of people around. Even in these circumstances, it’s okay to experience the emotion that is begging your attention. People might not understand, but you don’t have to explain.
The Purpose of Emotions
God created us with emotions as part of our human existence. Scripture encourages controlling some emotion, but never says sadness shouldn’t be expressed and experienced. Emotions serve a purpose, providing release, and then, allowing a recharge that aids forward motion.
Everything about writing this post has been a struggle. Thoughts have come in tiny blips and blurbs, not flowing as I am accustomed to my writing happening. Perhaps I’m exhausted from emotions. Or maybe it’s just one of those days when my energy is depleted and all I want to do is stare. Whatever the reason, I know God allowed an emotional episode this week as part of the grief process.
Grief takes many forms. Most of us want to grieve rapidly and then be done with it, but grief doesn’t work that way. Grief is a two steps forward one step back kind of process, a progression that can’t be hurried.
Keep in mind that experiencing emotions, and grief, are unique to each person. The time frame varies, and your grief probably won’t play out like anyone else’s. Accept the process of grief, knowing the emotions serve a purpose and God is walking with you each step of the way.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18 NLT).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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