This time last year, Jim and I attended a birthday party for our youngest grandson. We laughed, listened to children scream as they came down the water slide, sang, and enjoyed every moment. Two days later, we drove to Charlotte and boarded a plane, bound for a cruise, with ports of call in Italy, Turkey, and Greece. We were with a group of friends and had a wonderful time following the routes of the missionary journeys of the apostle Paul.
This year feels a lot different, because it is.
Griffith’s birthday party was as wild and crazy as only a Big Air birthday party can be. Amid the chaos, I caught myself scanning the slides, foam pits, and grandparent benches, searching for Jim. It’s still a shock to realize he’s not here. I keep expecting him to round a corner or call from the other room.
Trips on the horizon are solo. As an only child, I know how to do “by myself,” yet, the missing of my life mate of 43 years is profound.
When will I get used to Jim’s absence? I think the answer is never.
Remember the Good Times
In recent weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time going through boxes, sifting through memories and recapturing snapshots of our lives together. Some unpleasant memories exist among the good. If we’re honest, I think we all can admit to that. However, don’t get stuck ruminating on hurts because that halts forward motion. Remember, the good far outweighs the not so good.
Treasure Every Moment
For months before Jim’s death, God whispered repeatedly, cherish every moment. I took that admonition to heart and did as instructed. Some of my most cherished memories are of simple everyday togetherness. From time together on the deck, quiet conversations, shared meals, to overseas trips, all were, and are, cherished.
Avoid letting the busyness of life rob you of simple pleasures with loved ones. We don’t know what tomorrow holds, so cherish today.
God’s Plans are Not Ours
If the choice were mine, I’d have enjoyed additional years with Jim. We had plans for more travel, more time with grandchildren, and more time together. God had other plans.
Loss doesn’t always come in the form of death. Perhaps your loss is a job you enjoyed, a relationship that went awry, or hardship from the past.
It’s pointless to attempt to reason the whys and wherefores of loss. God’s plans are most often contrary to ours. God sees the completed tapestry; we see only the knotted threads on the underside. Acceptance is challenging, but knowledge of the higher ways and greater plans of Creator God eases the process.
What differences are you facing from this time last year? Are those differences good, or difficult?
“So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it” (1 Peter 4:19 MSG).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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