I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot this week. September 11 marks 33 years since his death. None of us expected him to die at age 72, but cancer robbed him of more years on earth.
No matter what age or stage of life you’re in, when a parent dies, it changes how you feel about yourself.
Recently, a young man asked me when you start feeling like an adult. Initially, my answer was “when you have children.” However, as I think about that question more, I believe adulthood slams you in the face after your father dies. Maintaining forward motion requires re-evaluating who you are without the presence of an earthly father.
I learned a lot from my father. Daddy was a man of few words, but his actions taught in more significant ways than words.
Following are a few of my father’s attributes that I have tried to emulate:
Generosity
My dad was generous with his time and his money. After his death, people told me many stories of his generosity that I’d never heard before. Daddy followed the directive found in Matthew 6:3, “But when you give to the poor and do acts of kindness, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing [give in complete secrecy].
Patience
Daddy was a patient man. I can’t remember a time when he raised his voice, lost his temper, or spoke profanity. I’m sure he felt anger at times, but he controlled that emotion.
I’ve struggled with patience. It’s an attribute I’ve had to work on. Patience requires practice. I’ve practiced, but probably still not perfected. Patience involves waiting, controlling emotion, and your mouth!
Humor
One thing I remember most about my father was his sense of humor. He loved to tell tall tales, and usually managed to with a straight face. But when his dimples showed, and a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, you knew his dry humor was at work.
Humor has helped me through some of the hardest times in my life. I’m thankful I had a daddy who could laugh, and taught me to, even when life is hard.
Wisdom
Proverbs 9:10 VOICE reminds us of the source of wisdom, “Reverence for the Eternal, the one True God, is the beginning of wisdom; true knowledge of the Holy One is the start of understanding.”
Daddy was wise. I believe that wisdom stemmed from the fact that he revered God and spent time in His word. Sometimes wisdom is gained from experience, but the deepest wisdom and insight are God-given.
Integrity
My father was a builder. Over the course of his career, his name became synonymous with honesty and a well-built house or building. He practiced what his father taught, to never do anything to tarnish the Neely name.
In a world where integrity is rare, make it your goal to be a person who is honest, decent, and virtuous, a person of good character.
The Gift of a Good Heavenly Father
Many people struggle with the concept of a loving and compassionate God. Either they were taught to see God as vengeful and angry, or their earthly father didn’t possess qualities that allowed them to equate “father” with goodness. I’m thankful I had a Daddy who modeled the qualities of a good, loving, compassionate God.
One day, before my father received his cancer diagnosis, I passed by a picture of Daddy and uttered a verbal prayer, “Dear God, please don’t let anything happen to my daddy.” Immediately, I heard, within my spirit, Candy, I’m your daddy. Any time I feel like life difficulties are too hard to handle, I remember those words from my Abba Father, “Candy, I’m your daddy.”
If you don’t already know Him as such, may you seek to know Eternal God as your good, good Father.
“Whenever you cross my mind, I thank my God for you and for the gift of knowing you” (Philippians 1:3 VOICE).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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