Last week, November 8, our anniversary, was a happy day for me. I played mental reruns of the joy of our wedding day and laughed as I remembered some of the funny parts of that day 44 years ago. I was proud of myself for not allowing it to be a day of sadness and weeping.
Two days later, before I was even totally awake, my eyes were awash with tears over everything and nothing. Every song we sang in church added to my tearfulness. It was one of those times when grief sneaked up on me and I was at its mercy.
The emotions of grief are sporadic, intense, and unpredictable, but necessary. The expression of emotion is part of the healing process. Regarding grief, let emotions come when they will and don’t try to suppress them. However, other emotions can get the best of us and need to be controlled.
Anger
Earlier this week, while attempting to turn left out of a parking lot in rush-hour traffic, I eased up near the sidewalk to get a better view of the oncoming traffic. Suddenly, I heard a shout from my right. I turned and saw a young woman on a bike flying down the sidewalk. Anger distorted her face, and a torrent of profanity spilled from her mouth. I had no idea she was anywhere near when I inched across the sidewalk, but she certainly made her presence known. Her outburst was unnecessary, but so many in our society seem angry and in a hurry.
The more you behave in an angry manner, the more it becomes a pattern you give in to. It’s much easier to give your tongue full vent than to extend grace. Anger is an emotion that can be controlled, and it’s up to us to make the effort to stem anger.
The more you behave in an angry manner, the more it becomes a pattern you give in to.
Jealousy
Do you look at others and feel envious of their possessions, positions, and practices? Jealousy can ruin your life if you allow it. Instead of comparing yourself to others, or wishing for what they have, realize you don’t always know the full extent of what goes on in their lives. Others may look like they have it all, but behind closed doors, be living a life of unimaginable hurt or unspeakable shame.
Gratitude is the antidote for envy. When you make a practice of thanking God for his blessings, and the life you have, you stop measuring and start treasuring.
Bitterness
Have you ever met those who have allowed past hurts, perceived or real, to embitter them? Long-held bitterness is apparent in facial expression, tone of voice, language, and even posture. Not only does bitterness damage you, but it also poisons those around you. Bitterness alienates, negatively colors perspective, and halts forward motion.
Recognition and Reversal
If we aren’t careful, negative emotions really can change the best of us into the worst of us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t have to allow the drama of emotion to take over and control our lives. With God’s help, we can control negative thoughts, actions, and attitudes, and make negative emotions our slave rather than our master.
Begin by doing a little self-evaluation. Do you respond in anger frequently? Are jealousy and criticism rampant in your life? Have you allowed bitterness to warp your perspective and alienate you from others? Are you impatient and unforgiving? Be honest. Then admit negative emotions to yourself. Ask God to help you begin the process of reversing patterns and reestablishing new ones. Controlling negative emotions is a process that is worth the effort.
“And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you” (Ephesians 4:24 MSG).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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