Here we are, two weeks before Christmas, and life’s hardships haven’t slowed down for many. In the past week, these are situations of which I’m aware, two unexpected deaths, a death after a years-long decline, hospitalizations, those who’ve had surgery, those caring for loved ones with cancer, and several people near death. Life marches on, regardless of your level of exhaustion and need for peace. How do you cope?
Following are thoughts on handling hard during the holidays:
Decide to Embrace Different
This year, I have a little table-top Christmas tree. Although not the norm, I am happy with it.
Being okay with different is challenging for those who are tied tightly to tradition and aren’t happy unless everything is “just so.” However, at times, it makes sense to step back from what is traditional and be willing to put aside “but we’ve always done it this way.”
However, you may be surprised to discover you enjoy the holiday more without all the must-dos and feel a sense of peace and calmness you usually don’t experience.
Look for Brief Moments of Respite
The holidays are hectic, and when you add a hard situation to the mix, life becomes frantic. Often, for some unknown reason, when we are in the middle of difficulty, we wave away offers of help. However, you don’t get a prize for exhaustion, so graciously accept the gift of someone willing to take the night shift at the hospital by the bedside of a loved one. Allow yourself a little extra time alone, even if it’s only to drink a cup of hot tea and stare. Carve out time to read scripture and reflect. Self-care is not selfish and you are not “slack” if you admit you need a break.
Realize God’s Nearness
Sometimes, we forget God is aware and cares about our struggles. Hardship doesn’t indicate God has abandoned us or doesn’t love us. Difficult life situations are not punishment. Difficulty provides an opportunity to draw close to our Creator, to lean in, to listen closely and reflect.
When situations are hard, expect God to be more present than before. Although life is unpredictable, and often sends us into a tailspin, God is ever-present, unchanging, and dependable.
Cherish Comfort and Joy
Most of us associate joy with happiness, but it’s possible to be joyful in the midst of sorrow. Likewise, we tie comfort to the absence of difficulty. Although it takes effort to recognize, comfort and joy can coexist with hardship, grief, and loss.
I am comforted knowing Jim is experiencing eternity with his Savior. I am joyful he is free from a body declining from years of chronic illness. I take comfort in knowing my God will continue to walk me through widowhood with my hand tightly in his grip. I am joyful for the chance to experience forward motion and all the blessings that lie ahead.
This Christmas, no matter in what hard situation you find yourself, rejoice and take comfort in the love, compassion, and peace the Father promises and provides.
“’Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10 NIV).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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