Maintaining a Positive Outlook When Holidays are Hard

This year, I don’t have much Christmas “spirit.” When you are missing a loved one, all the festivities feel a little flat, as if I am a spectator rather than a participant. Although I expected this to be the case this year, it’s harder than I thought it would be.

Following are thoughts on keeping a positive outlook when holidays are hard:

Give Yourself Permission to Do Less

I don’t have the energy for lots of decorating this year, so I’m taking a minimalist approach, hauling out a few treasured decorations and leaving the rest in the closet. The idea of decorating a big tree doesn’t interest me, perhaps because our tree was still up January 3, the day Jim died.

Giving yourself permission to do less is freeing. Your situation may not involve grief, but rather a lingering illness, or exhaustion from some other life situation. It’s okay to do less. You don’t have to decorate extensively or keep up your normal level of gift-giving. Neither do you have to explain or accept the criticism of others. Just do what you can do, and let the rest go.

Revel in Joyful Moments

Last Sunday night, I attended a Christmas concert in which my son played bass guitar. I sat with the grandchildren, cuddling with Griffith, and listening to Emerald sing along with every song. In that place, and for those moments, I reveled in the joy of Christmas, putting anything sad or hard out of my mind.

To help maintain a positive outlook, recognize joyful moments, enjoy them, and keep them close in your heart throughout the season.


Listen to Music

Music always lifts my spirits. From the time I was a child, music has been an integral part of my life. I remember sitting in church listening to the pipe organ when I was four, playing thick 78’s on the old stereo at home, and listening to Handel’s Messiah.

Later, I took piano lessons from my grandmother, sweated through recitals, and learned to play the organ. I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t singing in a choir, ensemble, or college chorus. Even as a child, I sang Christmas carols with a group on our local television station.

For many years, when my children were teens, they recorded a Christmas CD. I still have them and listen often.

Music is a gift, one to be treasured and enjoyed.

Focus on What is Meaningful

What means the most to you at Christmas? Family gatherings? Gift-giving surprises? Traditions? Worship? For me, Christmas is all of that and more. I am thankful for a loving God, who cared enough about mankind to send a Savior to redeem us from the bondage of sin and death. I am grateful for family and friends who walk with us through difficulty and grief. I cherish all the ways God has blessed and continues to bless me.

This year, if Christmas is hard, remember the reason we celebrate, acknowledge the Giver of all good gifts, see all the positives in your life, and give thanks with a joyful heart. Hold on to hope, the catalyst for forward motion.

“Our hope comes from God. May He fill you with joy and peace because of your trust in Him. May your hope grow stronger by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NLV).

©CandyArrington

Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).

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