Last week, my son and I climbed up the attic stairs in search of a few specific boxes. I hadn’t been in the attic for years and was surprised by all that is there: a playpen that is now too dirty to ever be used again, plastic boxes of unknown items, toys strewn willy-nilly with no protective covering, and other items so shrouded in dust they are unrecognizable. In short, things that were once important to us, a useful part of our lives, languish unused and unimportant.
As I looked around the attic, I wondered why we hadn’t given away most of what is there. What is it that makes us reluctant to let go?
Nostalgia
For the past year+, I’ve been going through boxes we brought home from our parents’ houses and my grandparents’ house. The memories associated with the items these boxes contain are numerous and I have discovered nostalgia is a big hindrance to letting go.
It’s the same for things that belonged to Jim. For the first year after his death, I couldn’t bring myself to throw away anything with his handwriting on it, that distinctive architectural lettering that was so much a part of him. Even now, my heart skips a beat when I read his writing.
Parting with things despite nostalgia is challenging. It’s particularly hard when items are associated with our children. I’ve jokingly said, “You have to close one eye and distance yourself from the memories,” which is easy to say, but in reality, much harder to do.
Sometimes, the process requires letting go in stages. Put things aside you can’t force yourself to let go of, and then revisit them a few months later. Often, you can convince yourself to let go the second time around.
Uncertainty
The future holds so many uncertainties. Most of us would like to know exactly what is going to happen next, but life doesn’t work that way.
Our parents, many who lived through The Great Depression, saved everything. We learned that from them, and although we want to do differently, we usually save more than is necessary.
Another facet of uncertainty is the I-might-need-it syndrome, whereby we save things just in case we need them later. However, in today’s world, we have ready access to so much that holding on just in case is irrelevant.
Mistrust vs. Trust
Sometimes, we can’t let go because we mistrust ourselves, or others. We feel the need to have documentation that verifies what we’ve done and can prove it in the future. Mistrust is a deterrent to forward motion.
Conversely, trust is freeing, but if someone ever betrayed your trust, it takes determination to trust again. If you grew up in an environment where trust was sketchy, learning to trust takes time.
Forgiveness is also part of the letting go process. Can you take the step of forgiving those who hurt you or proved untrustworthy in the past? Are you willing to let go of resentment and anger?
Many find it hard to trust God because of past experiences, but He is trustworthy. Letting go of control and trusting God to shepherd in ways that are always beneficial is where many struggle. However, God’s path for our lives is superior to anything we can create in our own understanding.
Today, would you consider letting go and allowing God to guide you?
“Place your trust in the Eternal; rely on Him completely; never depend upon your own ideas and inventions. Give Him the credit for everything you accomplish, and He will smooth out and straighten the road that lies ahead” (Proverbs 3:5-6 VOICE).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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