I was in kindergarten the first time I remember comparing myself to someone. As we sat in a circle for show-and-tell, a classmate pulled a shiny pair of black shoes with ribbon ties out of a silky bag. She put those shiny shoes on her feet and tapped around the circle, drumming out a rhythm with toes and then heels.
When she finished her little dance, everyone clapped, including me, but in my five-year-old heart, I suddenly felt lacking. I didn’t have a shiny, black, beribboned pair of shoes that tapped out a rhythm that made people applaud.
As adults, even if we don’t admit it, we often compare ourselves to others. But making comparisons is a trap that leads you down a side trail of uncertainty and self-doubt, while thwarting forward motion.
Following are the pitfalls of measuring yourself against others:
Comparisons Create Dissatisfaction
You can always find someone prettier, thinner, smarter, more skilled, more accomplished, or with more possessions, connections, or success than you. Comparing yourself to others causes you to be dissatisfied with who you are and what you have. Instead, consider the many ways you are blessed and give thanks, even when circumstances and situations make thanksgiving challenging.
Comparisons are Inaccurate
The advent of social media ramped up the tendency to make comparisons. People post gushy accounts of accomplishments, trips, wonderful spouses, or myriad other boasts, but behind the posts, their lives may very well be less than. What you see in others is what they want you to see, but not always the truth.
Public persona and private reality are often very different. And comparisons aren’t always equal. Someone may seem hugely successful, while privately struggling with addiction or depression.
Comparisons Stomp Self-Esteem
Comparing yourself to others diminishes how you view yourself. It’s easy to focus on the positives in everyone else while highlighting your negatives. Do yourself a favor; remember your gifts and talents instead of focusing on your flaws. There are enough critics in the world without constantly criticizing yourself.
Comparisons Sidetrack
When you compare yourself to others, you halt forward motion, and waste a lot of time assessing, reassessing, and trying to recreate yourself into someone you’re not. Comparisons are a lateral move, sidetracking you from the plan and purposes God has for you.
Comparison Dishonors You and God
As you make comparisons, you may start making changes to emulate those you admire, or envy. Perhaps you adjust your wardrobe or vocabulary, abandon trusted friends, or try to adopt a different lifestyle. Yet you may discover you feel only frustration.
Changes that alter the real you dishonor the person God created you to be. You are God’s unique design. Give thanks for who you are, and stop comparing yourself to others.
“We will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original” (Galatians 5:26 MSG).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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