When thrust into unexpected change, you take slow steps, halting forward motion, as you experience life on the other side. Life changes on the other side of a loved one’s death, presenting you with challenges and lots of firsts as you navigate uncharted waters. First holidays, first solo events, and first experiences, are all tinged with missing and the dull ache of grief.
Dreams
For me, life on the other side is filled with dreams, often, dreams of my life on Greenbriar Road with Mama and Daddy. I suppose my unconscious mind reverts to the days before Jim and I met and married, and that sends me spiraling back to life with my parents in the home where I grew up.
Layered Grief
I’ve mentioned compound grief before, a grief that is layered and branches out to include mourning other loved ones. History and nostalgia combine to create a vortex of memories that whirl you into another place and time. Some layers of grief are easier to navigate than others. Layered grief is to be expected because our lives intertwine with others, mixing and mingling. Accept layered grief and don’t feel guilty for whom, how long, and to what depth you grieve all those you miss.
New Awareness
Life on the other side of loss brings a heightened awareness. Small things seem large. Thankfulness is deeper. God’s presence is closer. The beauty of nature is more vivid. Togetherness with remaining loved ones and friends is more intensely cherished and enjoyed.
I am more aware of those around me, of their hurts and needs. I suppose, when you are grieving, you recognize fellow travelers. Life moves more slowly, and it is easier to be patient as you await the next steps.
Peace
I am blessed. My gracious God has given me the gift of peace. Yes, emptiness and missing are present, but also a deep underlying peace that provides confidence I can successfully navigate this journey of grief, this life on the other side.
The Other Side for Jim
I can only speculate about Jim’s existence on the other side of death. Thankfully, scripture gives me glimpses of his new home and provides hope.
Healed
I know Jim’s failing body and the ravages of diabetes are no more. He has a new body, one not subject to chronic disease or decay. He no longer deals with an insulin pump, continuous glucose monitor, or blood sugar checks. His glorified body doesn’t require constant attention as his earthly body did. He is healed. What joy! What release!
“He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control” (Philippians 3:21 NLT).
No Worries
The beauty of heaven includes the exclusion of earthly worries. The frustration and annoyances of this world are over. No more pain or crying, only joy and worship. Honestly, I’m a little jealous!
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4 ESV).
At Home
Because my daddy was a builder, I have a vision of him preparing a room for Jim in a beautiful, architecturally impeccable home. I don’t know if this is accurate, but it is comforting. I also imagine Jim reunited with loved ones and the exuberant joy of those reunions.
I feel sorry for those who do not believe in existence beyond this life, because they have no hope. Their grief is profound and without resolution.
“Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home. If that weren’t so, would I have told you that I’m on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I’m on my way to get your room ready, I’ll come back and get you so you can live where I live” (John 14:1-3 MSG).
Not Lost
People always say, “Sorry for your loss.” Yes, loss, but not lost.
When Jim was lost in Jerusalem on our Holy Land trip last year, I was not overly concerned because I knew he must be nearby. He was, and found soon after. I feel the same about Jim now. I know where he is and I’m not worried. Jim is not lost, only absent from my life. I’m thankful I know where he is and will see him again one day.
Are you experiencing life on the other side? Your other side may be different, an unexpected life change that is disorienting and difficult. Take heart. God is close by and ready to guide and sustain.
“I tell you the truth: eternal life belongs to those who hear My voice and believe in the One who sent Me. These people have no reason to fear judgment because they have already left death and entered life” (John 5:24 VOICE).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
To receive Candy’s blog, Forward Motion, via email, go to https://candyarrington.com/blog/ and scroll to the bottom of the page to sign up.