Limbo: noun, an intermediate or transitional place or state: a state of uncertainty.
Do you ever feel you are living in limbo? I do. Since Jim’s death, the adjustment to a new normal, combined with various other situations leave me with a sense of uncertainty and unfinishedness. One small hitch has probate in limbo. One unexpected omission holds a life insurance policy in limbo. A legal matter, from out of nowhere, regarding an unknown and unrelated person, has me in a tailspin.
So, what is holding you in limbo?
Following are simple reflections on surviving in a state of limbo:
Resist the Urge to Make Something Happen
For months, I’ve wanted to wave a wand and have all the limbos in my life disappear with satisfactory conclusions. However, life usually doesn’t work that way and forcing a quick resolution isn’t always best. The desire to have unfinished matters reach conclusion often drives us to push ahead, when waiting would produce a better outcome. Although unsettling, get comfortable with a state of limbo and wait for God to act.
Quell Anxiety
All of us deal with anxiety from time-to-time. Anxiety is that niggling sensation of “what if” that keeps you on the edge of your seat and imagining worst case scenarios. But don’t let anxiety take hold and take over. Most of what we are worried and anxious about never comes to pass.
Do the Dance
Sometimes life feels like a crazy dance. When I was a child, I remember doing the limbo with cousins. With each turn, the limbo bar is lowered. You bend backwards and walk under without touching the bar, or the ground, and avoid knocking the bar off. The bending backwards aspect of the game isn’t as difficult for a child, but as an adult, bending backwards while moving forward is arduous, if not impossible.
At times, life changes and limbos render forward motion highly challenging. The trick is to do the dance as long as possible, trusting that resolution and forward motion are ahead, even if you have to walk around the stick and take a different path.
Accept Waiting
Most of us don’t wait well, so living in limbo is hard. We are a hurry up culture in which waiting is greeted with impatience. But what if waiting in life’s limbos is for our protection or is preparation for what lies ahead.
None of us can predict what is ahead. On New Year’s Day, Jim and I didn’t know he would die on January 3. I’m glad we didn’t know. The future is not something we should dread, nor should we be anxious in times of waiting. Trusting God for our tomorrows is a learned skill, one that requires faith and God-confidence, even when living in the limbo of life transitions.
“Don’t be impatient. Wait for the Lord, and he will come and save you! Be brave, stouthearted, and courageous. Yes, wait and he will help you” (Psalm 27:14 TLB).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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