This week, I attended my oldest grandson’s basketball game. The team was excited and ready to play. A school friend was there to cheer for them, waving her glittery gold pompom and yelling encouragement.
Last week, my grandson practiced shooting hoops for hours at my house. He hardly missed a basket. In the actual game, with aggressive guarding by the other team, it was a different story. He scored some points, but often, he and his teammates lost control of the ball, or a pass was intercepted by their opponents.
As the points for the opposing team soared, I could read the disappointment on his face, yet he and his teammates didn’t give up. Even in the last seconds of the game, they continued to maintain forward motion.
How has life disappointed you?
Following are thoughts on moving beyond life’s disappointments:
Disappointed by Others
Disappoint: fail to fulfill the hopes or expectations; prevent (hopes or expectations) from being realized.
Often, we expect more of others than we should. Many times, those expectations are unrealistic and uncharacteristic of the person. If you have never experienced thoughtfulness from someone, it’s unwise to think they will suddenly become thoughtful.
Likewise, maybe you’re a disappointment to others. The same goes for unrealistic expectations in reverse. If a parent, or someone else, expects more of you than they should, you have not failed. Some people are impossible to please. You are spinning your wheels trying to gain their approval because it will never happen. Do your best, but don’t waste your life being a pleaser.
We can all think of times when others have let us down. We are all flawed. The disappointment we feel lingers, but ultimately, we must accept, forgive, and move on to prevent resentment from taking hold.
Disappointed by Circumstances
What circumstances in your life have led to disappointment – a guaranteed promotion that never materialized, a publisher who promised a book contract and then suddenly went out of business, a planned vacation that was canceled because of illness, a major weather event, or political unrest?
One of my big disappointments regarding Jim’s sudden death is the short amount of time we had together after his retirement. We had lots of plans for travel: some realized, and some not.
Instead of meditating on what we missed, I’ve learned to be thankful for what we had. When circumstances are beyond our control, we have the option of accepting and making the most of where we are, or lamenting and wasting time in anger.
Instead of meditating on what we missed, I’ve learned to be thankful for what we had.
Disappointed with Ourselves
Many times, we allow self-disappointment to rob us of joy. Often, we place greater, and more unrealistic, expectations on ourselves than we do on others. Then, when we fail to reach those expectations, we berate ourselves endlessly instead of regrouping, honestly assessing, and trying again.
Now is a good time to forgive yourself for unrealized expectations. In the total scheme of things, life’s disappointments are minor compared to the assurance of eternity.
Appointed by God
Within the word “disappoint,” is the word “appoint.” We are appointed, chosen by God, for his specific plans and purposes. Perhaps others have repeatedly disappointed you, or you constantly disappoint yourself, but your God-appointment is more important. God loves you. He chose you as his adopted child. Follow His lead. Make it your goal to only seek God’s approval and stop worrying about disappointing others.
“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18 MSG).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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