On a rainy day, in a drive-thru line, I accidentally put my car in neutral instead of increasing the wiper speed. When time came to pull forward, I couldn’t understand why my car wouldn’t move, until I saw the glaring “N” on the display panel.
There are times in our lives when grief, illness, or a looming major decision are reasonable issues for taking a step back and idling until difficulty lessens. But other times, instead of maintaining forward motion, we drop into neutral, without even realizing it, and stay there.
Reasons People Allow Life in Neutral
Fear – Fear is a strong emotion, one that has the power to motivate or paralyze. Those who are fearful waste a lot of time what-if-ing, fail to make decisions, and delay next steps.
Indecision – Those who are indecisive are often perfectionists. In fearing the wrong decision, they make no decision at all or spend countless hours “researching” options. Indecision neutralizes forward motion.
Lack of motivation – Some personality types travel through life in slow gear, waiting for others to make decisions first, or act on their behalf.
Indifference – Often, those who are wounded by others, or beaten down by life trials, become indifferent and give up. Living life in neutral becomes their default.
Serving Instead of Coasting
I can remember people asking my parents how they maintained a happy marriage. My dad would say, with a lopsided grin and a dimple showing, “Marriage was rough, until I learned to put myself in neutral.” This was a joke, of course, because Daddy was one of the most motivated, servant-hearted men I’ve ever known. Only a cancer diagnosis, followed by a few short remaining months of life slowed him.
Some people think retirement years equal coasting. I don’t see it that way. Life in retirement still holds opportunities for service and learning, if we are open to those opportunities.
Put Yourself in Gear
I had a friend in college, who would get almost nose to nose with those who were whining about something, and say, “Just get over yourself.” It was another way of saying, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with life.”
At times, we all experience the unfairness of life, problems that seem insurmountable and situations that feel unresolvable and impossible. Getting yourself in gear to move beyond feelings of unfairness and self-pity requires casting your eyes beyond right now toward the future. Practical steps must be put in place. And then, you must take those steps.
Moving Beyond Life in Neutral
Trust – Overcoming fear and anxiety is a first step toward gearing up and moving forward. Fear will stop you in your tracks, if you let it. Anxiety is tied to second-guessing and immobilization. Trust in God is the antidote for fear and anxiety.
Hope – Hope believes there is something more, something better beyond your current circumstances. Hope is the spark that lights darkness. Hope makes forward motion possible.
Grasp – Reach out and take hold of God’s strength and power through a relationship with Him. Motivate yourself by realizing you don’t have to accomplish anything in your own strength. Tap into God-given resources, get out of neutral, and renew forward motion.
“Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value]” (Colossians 3:2 AMP).
“Rejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 AMP).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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