Detangling Emotions

Last week, I had several nights of dreams about Jim. As dreams often are, they were jumbled, confusing, and somewhat nonsensical. In part of the dream, Jim was alive, but later not. We were conversing, yet he said he couldn’t hear me when I asked if he could. Waking from those types of dreams leaves you wishing you could go back to sleep and figure out the meaning or message.

As a follow-up to those dreams, I found a jumbled mess in my jewelry box—a necklace wrapped around an intricate earring. Untangling the mess seemed hopeless, but as I looked at the mass of metal, I thought how our emotions are often in the same state of entanglement.

Following are reflections on detangling emotions:

Tackle the Issue

The first time I saw the tangled jewelry, I laid it aside. I wasn’t ready to deal with it. You may feel the same about complicated emotions. Often, when we know working on an issue is first going to stir it, we walk away and say not today. But the time comes when you must face the issue and meet it head-on.

The emotions surrounding loss are as complicated as tangled jewelry. Sadness, of course, but also frustration, and at times, anger.

You may not be dealing with loss, but some other issue that has your emotions in knots. Processing emotions, with any issue, is unsettling, but necessary. You may think you’re “over” what you’re dealing with but have only buried the emotions because you didn’t want to deal with them. When you make the decision to detangle emotions, you begin the healing process.

Employ Sticktoitiveness

As with most things, if you lack determination, you’ve already lost the battle. Deciding to untangle emotions involves committing to seeing it through to the end, even when it’s hard.

I worked on my jumble of jewelry twice and gave up each time. Finally, I decided to tackle the project to completion, no matter how long it took. Determination leads to completion.

Learn from the Process

One of the things I learned from untangling the necklace and earring was to separate necklaces and earrings in my jewelry box. While that seems like a no-brainer, how often do we co-mingle thoughts, actions, or things we know have the potential to cause problems?

Perhaps haste is involved, but often, thoughtlessness is at the heart of creating issues that lead to tangled emotions.

Trust God to Reveal and Restore

Sometimes emotions are so conflicted and complicated you need help to process them. Ask God to reveal what you have buried, help you unravel confusing and persistent negative thoughts, let go of resentment, and initiate forgiveness. Seek help from a minister or counselor if the process seems too overwhelming. Be willing to do difficult emotional work knowing restoration is ahead.

Rejoice in Success

Many of us want to experience success without putting forth the necessary effort to reach the finish line. Detangling my necklace and earring was a small victory, but one that gave me a sense of accomplishment, and pushed me to regain forward motion in other areas.

Although detangling emotions may be time-consuming and hard, keep your eyes on positive results and move forward one step at a time until you reach the freedom of success.

“A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 AMPC).

©CandyArrington

Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).

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