Are you in a life season when everything feels more complicated than usual? I’m there. Supposedly, the pace of life slows in retirement years. I haven’t found it to be so.
Here are reflections on a season of dealing with hard stuff:
Complicated Business Processes
After 50+ years, a landholding corporation my father and uncle started is winding down. All the land is sold, and the corporation’s usefulness is at an end. Although I looked forward to this day, the process is as complicated as I expected. My brain is tired, but thankfully, the corporate attorney and CPA know the ins and outs of what has to happen when. When all is complete, I will heave a huge sigh of relief and gratefully retire from the responsibility of juggling this big business ball.
Life often hands us complicated tasks, especially at times when we don’t feel capable of dealing with them. I’ve dealt with the closing of four estates in the last 15 years, more than enough for anyone handling grief.
I’ve learned several things when faced with complicated business processes: enlist knowledgeable people to help, dive into the process instead of delaying and dreading, and eat the elephant one bite at a time. Often, we want hard things to go away, but we don’t take the necessary steps to set the process in motion to reach resolution.
Tackling Tough Jobs
I’ve written extensively about the clean out of numerous family homes, and all it entails physically and emotionally. As with business situations, the work of cleaning out a house is hard, with the added factor of nostalgia. When a tough job looms, we sometimes have a tendency to find many other small, easier jobs to occupy our time instead of tackling the harder one. But, trust me, a tough job doesn’t disappear when ignored. That hard job will sit right there and wait for you, for years, if you let it.
You must be your own motivator and engineer, finding ways to move the process forward. The reward for determination is the ability to see progress and the sense of accomplishment upon completion.
Doing the Work Another Person Should Do
Last week, as I drove toward home, I suddenly became aware of a car too close to my right side. I braked, but not before the other driver slammed into the front passenger side of my car. The accident happened so fast I didn’t even have time to blow the horn. Thankfully, the driver immediately admitted fault and apologized.
I called my insurance company that day, but when I followed up with her insurance company a few days later, I learned she hadn’t filed a claim. To my frustration, her insurance company representative would not file a claim for me over the phone. I had to go online and wade through numerous pages of questions about their customer. After the process, I am convinced customer service no longer exists!
Many times, we must be the ones to clean up messes made by others. Although frustrating, you often have to take the initiative to guarantee things move forward in a logical progression.
The Grief Process
Grief is one of life’s hardest jobs, which we would gladly skip, if we could. Grief is a two-steps-forward-one-step-back progression that rarely resolves quickly or neatly. Grief has an undefined timeline, the end point of which isn’t visible at the beginning.
Thankfully, on the journey of grief, there are billboards of hope and peace, along with road signs of direction. Be sure to stop at the overlooks, and savor the beauty of nature. Allow joy to intermingle with the difficult, propelling forward motion.
Like any hard job, grief requires your attention and participation. Grief is not something others can do for you; it is a personal, unique transition, God-crafted specifically for you. God is there in the journey, encouraging, sustaining, and orchestrating next steps, the next tomorrow, and the next season.
“When you face stormy seas I will be there with you with endurance and calm; you will not be engulfed in raging rivers. If it seems like you’re walking through fire with flames licking at your limbs, keep going; you won’t be burned. Because I, the Eternal One, am your God” (Isaiah 43:2-3a VOICE).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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