Remembering the Good

For the last several weeks, I’ve been going through boxes long buried in our garage and Jim’s home office. Sifting through the detritus of the life of a loved one, and the places that life intersects with yours, is a bittersweet experience. Scenes appear. Conversations float. Memories take on a life of their own. Some days I feel like I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and can’t find my way back to reality. But, on this journey called grief, the word that most often comes to mind is “good.”

During this hard season of life, I’m thankful for all that’s good.

Cherished Memories

Remembering is not always pleasant. Thoughts of conflict and difficulties surface along with the good. Learning to sift the sands of time, allowing the hard to fall away and the nuggets of good to remain, requires focus and determination, but is so worth it.

After my father died, my mother said, “All I remember is the good times.” That statement stuck with me and helped me to see goodness even when circumstances were challenging. As memories surface, reject the difficult and cherish the good.

Love

One of the joys of going through boxes is finding faded photographs that evoke memories of fresh love and new beginnings. I remember the breathless feeling that kept Jim and me on the phone for hours talking about nothing and everything. I remember the internal flutter, like a herd of butterflies, that stirred every time I saw him and always remained. Love bound us together when circumstances threatened to pull us apart.

Wisdom Gained

When you love someone, and live with them for decades, if you are wise, you learn to rejoice in the good and minimize the not so good. Everyone has quirks and irritating flaws, but when you look for the good qualities, you become wise.

In cleaning out Jim’s office, I found letters of commendation from his employers for his work excellence and interaction with clients, awards for his architectural designs, notes from friends and colleagues, Bible study and sermon notes, and all that he saved that was important to him. I’m so thankful for the good man, who was my husband.

God’s Faithfulness

Writing about this journey of grief, I am compelled to include my faithful God. God’s faithfulness is the glue that holds my world together. Without God’s presence and comfort, I would be undone.

I have a history with God that reminds me his faithfulness never fails. Through hardship, fears, tears, seemingly impossible situations, the death of loved ones, God has never abandoned me.

When life storms come, count on God’s faithfulness, remember all that is good, and maintain forward motion.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8 VOICE).

©CandyArrington

Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).

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