Last week, I learned a young couple’s story. For the husband, a few days of fever, then a rash, a trip to urgent care, an ER visit, followed by a cancer diagnosis. What? How does a healthy young man suddenly slam into a life-altering diagnosis? How does a young couple go from life as usual to coping with a health situation that upends their world?
Life’s Rollercoaster Ride
Years ago, while our family was on a trip to Texas, we went to an amusement park. Somehow, I let my children talk me into riding a rollercoaster. It wasn’t a normal coaster. It was one of those crazy kinds, where you hang, dangling above the ground, flying hither and thither sideways and upside down through the air.
It didn’t take long for me to know I’d made a mistake. While the children squealed with glee, I closed my eyes and promised God if he let me survive the ride, I wouldn’t be this foolish again. I’ve never forgotten that wild, uncontrolled ride.
Although I haven’t gotten near another rollercoaster with a name like “Thrasher,” I’ve definitely felt, at times, as if life was flinging me back and forth in the same type out-of-control way, leaving me gasping and bracing for the next gyration.
Sometimes, life feels exactly like a wild rollercoaster ride. And most of the time, we didn’t buy a ticket or stand in line for the ride. As if in a dream, we become aware we are hurtling through the air, holding on tightly to the grab bar and praying for the world to right itself with the next spiral.
Responding to an Upended World
When your world upends, how do you respond? It takes time for shock to subside and reality to settle in.
I still mentally replay those first few hours and days following Jim’s sudden death. I remember my mouth saying words my heart and mind still hadn’t caught up with: “Your daddy is with Jesus,” “Jim died this afternoon,” “I found Jim dead at the top of the back stairs.”
The day of Jim’s death was one of the most surreal times in my life. Your mind doesn’t function normally. It feels as if you are moving in a dense fog. You know your situation is actual, but it takes a while for reality to firmly plant itself in your mind.
So, what comes next after your world unexpectedly upends? First, don’t expect too much of yourself. Do the next necessary thing. And then the next. Let the unnecessary wait. Maintain a hesitant, stuttering forward motion, not in your own strength, but with God leading you, gently, slowly.
I won’t pretend next steps are easy, but they are doable. Expect physical and mental exhaustion, grief brain (because grief is present even when death isn’t involved), and feelings so strong they are overwhelming, coupled with the assurance that this phase will moderate with time.
Upright and Moving Forward
Part of moving forward after your world turns upside down is accepting that normal will never look the same. A new normal will come, with time, but the transition from past to present evolves, with lots of stumbling spots on a circuitous path. Forward motion progresses in fits and starts, and sometimes, you must pull to the side on this journey and rest. Employ patience in the process.
Don’t be discouraged if it seems to be taking a long time to move forward even a little. With God’s help, you will gain speed, find your footing, and move ahead to renewal and joy.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV).
©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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