Last week, as I was leaving a restorative care facility after visiting a friend, I encountered a group of employees in the lobby.
“Are you a teacher?” one asked. “You have the presence of a teacher.”
I answered “no,” and then told her I am a writer.
“For real? What have you written? Do you write books?”
I recounted a little of my writing journey, including the fact that I often write tough topics.
Several asked my name, pulled out their phones, and quickly discovered my website.
“Oh, law! Look at that professional headshot! This lady is who she thinks she is!”
We talked a few minutes. I showed them how to access my blog, thanked them for their interest, and then bid them farewell.
After I got in the car, that phrase, “This lady is who she thinks she is,” replayed in my mind and caused me to think about how we perceive ourselves.
Following are thoughts on self-perception:
Accuracy
Is the view you hold of yourself accurate?
When I look in the mirror, I am usually okay with what I see. However, to get a more accurate perspective, a full-length mirror is required. When I see a portion of my reflection, I get a partial view, but full-length gives the total picture. Sometimes, that view isn’t what I consider acceptable.
Some people have an elevated perception of themselves. Perhaps they feel inferior for some reason and compensate with an inflated view of self to gain confidence. Unfortunately, self-elevation is often at the expense of someone they belittle to feel better about themselves.
An attitude of superiority is unattractive and dangerous. Invariably, those in the superior person’s orbit are crushed by hurtful words and deeds. But, eventually, eyes are opened and honesty prevails.
Honesty
My maternal grandmother often cautioned, “Now don’t you get the big head,” meaning, don’t think too highly of yourself.
Almost nothing is more annoying than a person with a “big head.” An attitude of superiority, self-centeredness, and criticism doesn’t endear you to others.
An honest assessment of oneself enhances forward motion and helps create genuine relationships. People gravitate toward those who are honest, compassionate, and forgiving. Conversely, people grow weary of those who require constant ego stroking.
An honest assessment of oneself enhances forward motion and helps create genuine relationships. Share on X
Misperception
The reverse of the “big head” is those who think too little of themselves.
How do you see yourself? Sometimes, we view personal shortcomings with glaring clarity, while ignoring our positive qualities.
Misperception may stem from overly critical parents, grandparents, or other family members. I still remember the times extended family members commented openly and loudly on my pre-teen weight and what that did to my self-esteem. The damage lasted into adulthood.
Moving beyond labels others place on us is challenging. Listening to, and accepting, the negative, and sometimes cruel, statements of others saddles us with the unnecessary burden of meeting lofty or impossible standards.
Moving beyond labels others place on us is challenging. Share on X
Correction
The world is full of critics, or what I refer to as “negative cheerleaders.” Forward motion comes when we learn to see ourselves from God’s perspective as a beloved and valued child of the King.
We are God’s masterpiece, created in His image. So, no matter what falsehoods others have drilled into your brain, you are God’s creation. By faith in Jesus Christ, through God’s grace, you are adopted into God’s family and gain a new identity.
With this new identity, comes the certainty that you are who God knows, and says, you are.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).
“Because of the grace allotted to me, I can respectfully tell you not to think of yourselves as being more important than you are; devote your minds to sound judgment since God has assigned to each of us a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3 VOICE).
Forward motion comes when we learn to see ourselves from God’s perspective as a beloved and valued child of the King. Share on X©CandyArrington
Candy Arrington is an award-winning writer, blogger, and speaker. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotions published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, and Writer’s Digest. Candy’s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well (Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care (Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide (B&H Publishing Group).
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